Johannesburg
I was halfway down the lane this morning, swimming backstroke and I remembered a squad teacher I had a few years ago. I would train a few times a week with this group in Williamsburg Brooklyn, and most people were more experienced than me at training in this way. Anyway, a trainer woman, Katlin I think her name was, she was TOUGH and not there to make friends. She announced that we'd do 200m butterfly at one point. I put my hand up "I can't do butterfly"
"Yes you can", she said, "You're about to."
Without indulging me for a second, she counted us off. "OK. Go, go, .. go.. go.. "
Somehow based on what I'd seen, what I thought butterfly would feel like, I did it. Im sure it wasn't flawless or graceful or anything, but I butterflyed up a storm and continued to while I was in that squad.
So anyway, I'm remembering Katlin's generous energetic transfer, and that scary/awesome feeling. The second when you cross over from 'I can't' to 'I am'.
"Yes you can", she said, "You're about to."
Without indulging me for a second, she counted us off. "OK. Go, go, .. go.. go.. "
Somehow based on what I'd seen, what I thought butterfly would feel like, I did it. Im sure it wasn't flawless or graceful or anything, but I butterflyed up a storm and continued to while I was in that squad.
So anyway, I'm remembering Katlin's generous energetic transfer, and that scary/awesome feeling. The second when you cross over from 'I can't' to 'I am'.
posted by Lara M at 10:52 PM
3 Comments:
i know this exact feeling. i had to complete 3 folios for vce and tehy all had to be in today. i kept saying i can't i can't because i have never been under this much stress, but then when i suddenly i handed them in i realized i could; and was amazed at my achievements. this isn't exactly like your story but i think i felt the same thing.
i think the fact is being thrown into the 'deepend' of something that you havent experienced before and then having to suddenly know how to do it and act on it is so mentally twisting.
Hi Lara,
I arrived at the slope for my first ski lesson the other week and completely freaked out about the big hill people were gliding down. At some point between accidently sliding down a slope backwards and learning to turn, I crossed to I am and it felt amazing.
Your post has left me feeling really energetic about my day, which I will spend studying for an exam I may fail. Now I might cross from I can't to I am and the memory of that feeling is making me smile.
Thank you.
Amy
I love your blog, Lara.
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